It is considered that the offense is bad. But psychologists say that the offense benefits.
The fact that the offense is a defense mechanism, it is healthy and appropriate response to the violation of your personal boundaries.
– If any words or actions of others hurt you, you have the right to speak about it, – says psychologist Albina Marchenko. In society it is assumed that when a person asks for forgiveness, it must forgive. But we all know from experience that sometimes it is very difficult to do.
Experts advise to look for the cause of resentment in my head. You need to decide why you was so mean.
In addition, some psychologists advise: in order to forgive someone, imagine your bully a small child. Mentally sit him on your lap and Pat on the head, you can even buy candy. Think about what this man has had a rough childhood, so he grew up to be such a villain.
But then you ask: “Where does the child, because I was hurt an adult?”. Try to shift the blame on those who raised him. Maybe they have something not given to him in childhood, and now he is offended by the whole world. Or think about what happened some unforeseen circumstances, which forced him to cause you offense.
– Forgiveness brings pleasure, but in most cases it did not come without reciprocal actions of the second person, – says the psychologist. The offender should at least somehow try to make amends. If he does nothing to get offended quite logical.
Use the resentment in the fact that it helps get rid of toxic relationships.
Often we communicate with people who have very much and often bullied. Gradually life becomes a hell. Worse, when the offenders relatives.
Psychologists advise to break those toxic relationships that poison your life.
Yeah, it’s tough, but life of modern man is so filled with stress and mental strain. So I suggest my patients not to communicate with chronically mistreat their people. Even if it is their mother grandmother, sister or even someone of the parents, – says Albina Marchenko. Just let it all go and you’ll feel happier.
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